The European Commission recently announced an agreement where English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as “European English”.
In the first year of the 5 year plan: “s” will replace the soft “c”.
Sertainly! This will make the sivil servants jump with joy!
The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of “k”.
This should definitely klear up konfusion and keayboards kan have one less letter. Yeah!
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond yearwhen the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”.
This will make words like “fotograf” 2-% shorter. Great!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer ze nesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza.
Ze drem of united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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