Navy Retirement

The Navy found they had too many officers and made a decision to offer an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $ 900 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.

He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $54,000.

The second officer who accepted was much smarter, and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.

He walked out with $80,000.

The third one was a grisly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.”

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

However, the old Chief insisted on that particular way of measuring.

So they decided to go along with him, suggesting the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to “drop them,” which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s weenie and began to work back.

Oh Man!” he suddenly exclaimed, “Where are your testicles?”

The old Chief calmly replied, “Vietnam.”

Really Funny Jokes:

• Prison and Work Joke
• The Silent Treatment
• The Plane Crash Joke
• Cinderella Joke
• Lonely Widow

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