Posted August 30th, 2011 by Elena
There is an old joke about a guy who walks into a bar, wearing a sport jacket.
He orders a Scotch, which the bartender delivers.
The customer then takes out a really small piano and puts it on the bar.
The server looks at it and a couple of other customers crowd around the new arrival, who then takes a really small man out of his other pocket.
The half-foot tall man is dressed in a tuxedo and starts to play music at the keyboard. Read the full article…
Posted July 23rd, 2011 by Elena
Overheard on a Southwest Airlines flight into San Antonio, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day:
“During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it.”
After an extremely hard landing, the flying attendant said:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to San Antonio. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what is left from our airplane to the gate.”
Read the full article…
Posted July 10th, 2011 by Elena
A Blonde dials 911 to report that her new fancy car got broken into.
She is hysterical and crying as she explains her situation to the 911 dispatcher.
“They have stolen everything from my car: my steering wheel, the brake pedal, the dashboard, and even accelerator! Can you believe it?” she says.
The dispatcher says: “Please stay calm. Our officer is on his way to your house and will be there in five minutes.” Read the full article…
Posted June 20th, 2011 by Elena
It is always good to start a Monday morning with a good joke. Here it goes! Are you ready for this?
A small South Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny and very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. Read the full article…
Posted June 5th, 2011 by Elena
I really like to start my Sunday with a good joke. Well… here we go…
Find out what it really means when men say:
“Darling, I am going fishing”
It means: “I am going to drink myself so dangerously stupid and stand by the creek with a big stick in my hand while the innocent fish swim by in complete safety”. Read the full article…
Posted May 1st, 2011 by Elena
Number One Idiot of 2010
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset, because she caught her a little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. Read the full article…
Posted April 21st, 2011 by Elena
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry about anything.
By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test.
And best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Read the full article…
Posted April 15th, 2011 by Elena
A husband asks his wife,
“You never argue when I get mad at you.
How do you always control your anger?”
“I clean the toilet,” she replies.
“How does that help?” he asks. Read the full article…
Posted April 9th, 2011 by Elena
The European Commission recently announced an agreement where English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as “European English”. Read the full article…
Posted March 28th, 2011 by Elena
A man walks into a drug store and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him, if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his spouse.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he sets a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. Read the full article…