Everyone knows that creating and maintaining a healthy marriage takes a lot of time, effort and patience.
Getting married is much different from being married. There are many books and writings which talk about how to plan the big day, down to the last detail, but marriage is about all the things which happen in the days and years following the wedding.
Many people have found help and hope for their relationship by reading one of these inspirational books about healthy marriage.
1. “Fit to be Tied” by
Bill Hybels and Lynne Hybels
Their writing covers a number of topics, including the all-important decision of choosing a spouse and then dealing with the numerous pitfalls which have the potential to sabotage even the most promising relationships.
It looks a the influence family backgrounds have on a couple’s marriage, as well as how to resolve conflict, make time for romance, to gives tips for staying together when life seems determined to do the opposite.
2. “Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts:
Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry”
by Les Parrott and Leslie Parrott
There are deeper questions that address each person’s expectation of marriage and whether they have the capacity to be happy in the relationship. Another question on the list addresses whether each person has the capacity to engage in fair fighting.
This is an important part of healthy marriage, since each couple will need to find ways to resolve conflict and disagreements without resorting to dirty tricks if they want their marriage to be a lasting and a happy one.
3. “The Five Love Languages:
The Secret to Love That Lasts”
by Gary Chapman
This book discusses the different ways people communicate love to each other. In many relationships and marriages the issue is not that love doesn’t exist, but that the couple is not communicating it in a way the other one recognizes.
For some people, hearing the words “I love you” is very important, while other people show their love by performing acts of service.
Someone who needs to hear the words won’t recognize that the spouse who works hard to make sure that bills are paid is doing so out of love. As a result, he or she may not feel as though his or her needs are being met and conflict ensues.
This book explains there is not “right” way for someone to feel loved. The five love languages are the way someone interprets this all-important emotion in their relationship.
Understanding the different languages is the first step to developing a deeper understanding of your spouse and establishing a healthy marriage.
4. “Changes That Heal”
by Dr. Henry Cloud
In “Changes that Heal” Dr. Cloud looks at grace, truth and time as three ingredients of growth. He also looks at bonding to others and writes about what happens when a person fails to bond. A section in the book is devoted to learning how to bond appropriately.
This book also looks at sorting out good and bad, and what happens when we fail to accept both.
He is writing about suggestions on how to accept the positive and negative aspects of ourselves and others in relationships, and developing this tolerance is an important part of developing a healthy marriage.
The final chapter looks at becoming an adult and what happens when someone fails to grow up. It’s never too late to develop skills to become a mature adult and bring them to your marriage.
5. “Boundaries in Marriage”
by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Even when you are part of a couple, it doesn’t mean you have to give up your individual identities.
Having healthy boundaries are a way to set limits around what types of behaviors are acceptable and helps to establish respect from one’s spouse.
The healthy boundaries in marriage can also be used to keep intruders out of the relationship, which can only serve to further strengthen the bond between the spouses.
Reading books about how to maintain a good marriage can help you strengthen your relationship, whether you are still in the blush of newlywed bliss or you have been married for several years.
Take the advice that applies to your relationship and try it on for size to see if it makes sense. These books are truly inspiring writings that can help you get a new perspective on your marriage and give you practical tips to try to get your relationship back on track.
What are your relationship tips on how to maintain a healthy marriage?
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